New character journal for new game. Tama for the 4miko game.

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 A lot has happened since my last entry and I haven't found a moment until now to write.

The meeeting with Alric went to hell, which was expected. I was tossed into a cell and left guarded by men who had a staring problem. Then was when things went from typical-everyday life to LaLa land.

I've met a seishi. An honest to goodness seishi. Suzaku no shichiseishi Chichiri. And, though I'll never admit it to anyone, I actually felt relieved when the mark he showed me was red. The same red as mine. Turns out that I'm the reincarnation of Suzaku no shichiseishi Tamahome... and I was a MAN who was in love with the MIKO.

Chichiri got me out of the jail cell, dropped me in on what had looked like a husband and wife sitting beside each other happily, was hugged and KISSED by the GIRL, and THEN found out that the girl was my miko. Talk about a terrible situation! Miaka, the miko, was visibly upset that I was NOT a man and Chichiri and I went to the gardens to talk. He filled me in on everything that I needed to know; Tenkou, the story of the book, my past-life's love for Miaka, and that now I have to figure out a way to get all of the seishi together and following a single battle plan to fight a demon.

F.U.N.

Then I met up with the supposed husband, Amiboshi, and had a nice little interrogation. He fought hard not to tell me that he loved Miaka -though it was written ALL OVER his face -and ended up agreeing that it was possible and that if she could love him, he would take care of her for me.

As strange as it's been and with all of the information that's been thrown at me... I actually feel pretty okay. I'm worried about Konstantin, but I'm happy here. Miaka was my biggest worry, but Amiboshi promised me -man to man -that he would care for her heart and never let her hurt. I am oddly calmed by that. I don't think Tamahome is ready to wake up, but he approves of Amiboshi taking care of Miaka in our stead.

Our. Heh, I guess I'm getting used to the idea that I'm someone else, already.

 I've done the best I can. Konstantin is safely away from the German soldiers and -if he hasn't lost his mind- is well on his way to Sweden where he will find aid-hopefully- from Parker. I don't like the way that he said he'd be coming back for me, it sounded too much like he would be coming alone. I'll kick his ass if he doesn't bring a batalion with him. Parker - I hope- would keep Konstantin from doing anything stupid, but I get the feeling that Konstantin is going nowhere near Sweden.

It's a good thing that Eckhardt didn't pat me down when he arrested me, else he'd have found my notebook and sent it off to be deciphered. Granted that the entrys are all coded and written in Chinese, I'm sure that someone might be able to make out what is written. My commanding officer has often warned me about writing things down and keeping the tiny notebook taped to my body, but it's a left over from my childhood to write down important and private thoughts. My apartment back home- which will always remain unnoted due to the fact that not even my boss knows where I live- has boxes and boxes of notebooks filled with things that have happened in all manner of missions. Never have I lost a notebook, but then again I have never been captured. 

It irks me that I went so quietly, but I had to do something to make sure Konstantin was safe and that was my last option. Though he obviously doesn't feel the slightest thing for me, I still care for him more than a protector should. In a way, I feel that I'm betraying someone by feeling anything for the tall, handsome Russian, but I've never been in an actual relationship and therefore can not be betraying anyone... but I still feel as though I'm doing something wrong in being interested in Konstantin.

Now isn't the time to think about things like that, though. Eckhardt just gave me enough time to go to the bathroom and already he is beating on the door.

1941, 21 December

Konstantin in sleeping, I think. He's been very quiet and his head is bowed, so I'm assuming he's asleep. If not, then he got a very nice look at me when I changed out of that hated uniform and into my flightsuit. I prefer the flightsuit, even though it does read US Marines on the breast pocket, it is the most inconspicuous outfit that I brought with me. It's unzipped to my navel, so I'm sure that any attention the USMC patch might draw will be taken away to the one attribute that most men find so attractive.

Sitting here in this small car with Kon's soft breathing as the only noise, I have time to think over the visions I was tormented with back in the camp. It didn't escape my notice that the scream I gave in the odd version of my sibling's death was decidedly male. Why it would be, I have no idea. It also has come to my attention, that my concience has a male voice as well. Could it be that I've finally snapped? Could it be because I'm decidedly not feminine? (the blushing and attraction to Kon not withstanding.) Or is it something else? I have a vague, hazy memory of seeing the light from my mark surround me as that male scream tore from the pits of my being. Was that a pervious life? What could that mean?

I do not like questions that I can not answer. As soon as Konstantin and I are safe, we will try and find the answers to these and other questions. Why he was able to see inside my head, is one I desperately want an answer to. Though I do not recall seeing personal things other than the deaths of my family, I do not like the idea that he could have seen other things that could have been rather... shall we say embarrassing. I do not want him to see things that might... scare him away. I've done and seen things that I would not want to remember, and would rather Kon never know of. Not to mention the... shall we say... indescent... no, I can not even write about that.

I believe Kon is waking up and our train seems to be stopping... damn, what now?

Well, after a rather embarrassing situation with Konstantin in the infirmary this morning, I've decided that I shall never EVER drink around him again. Panties on my head? Check. Giggling like a fucking girl? Check. Falling over myself? Check. Managing to come off as wanting to get in his pants? Check.

Guh, shoot me. No, give me someone to shoot. Maybe I'll feel better with a pistol in my hand and a dead man at my feet.

Well, I got a letter back from Parker this afternoon. Seems the oaf finally figured out how to write me back, granted most other letters that were sent (that have not been copied into this notebook) were sending information on the jerk and his contingent of soldiers.

I've got a reply for him, I just need to find a way to get it to the post before Konstantin and I go to the camp today and if I can get away from my shadow long enough to drop it off. The moron corps are getting better at their job, it seems. Alric, (Mr. Kisses Women Without Permission) mentioned Kon in our little fight/meeting. I'm going to have hell to pay back in the States, but the CIA chiefs are going to have to take into account that I have an innocent to protect. (What? You didn't really think I was giving Alric actual information, did you? I'm a jerk, not stupid.)

My dearest love Will,

I know you wouldn't ever replace me, dearest, I was only teasing. I didn't know that you were so busy! Goodness, sounds like I may have to try an sweet talk your commanding officer into letting you spend at least a day with me before I must ship back to this boring base. Being a nurse is really boring when you have only a single patient, you know.

My friend, Colonel Von Hasmen, is a gentleman and would never try to take me away from you, my dearest. He's going on leave to spend the holidays with his sister, which is why he will be able to escort me.

I'll be okay, dearest, you worry about keeping yourself safe. I want a whole man when I come to see you in a few days. I hope to make it back into your loving arms before Christmas, but it really depends on if our train has any delays. They seem to be breaking down a lot lately, it must be due to all of this snow. Oh! Yes, before I go, I got a commendation from the general of my base! He's giving me a medal for helping to save the life of one of his close subordinates! Isn't that great?! I'll be a First Lieutenant!

All My Love,

Your Milla-Pie

(Okay, I will call you Will. Mother got me calling you Willie. ) 

<Translation:>

Parker,

Good to know that things got to you fine. What do you mean you're moving to Poland? Leave a note with your commander that I am to have your location when I arrive. You are my contact and I would appreciate it if you were the one I was trusting with mine and my companion's lives. 

I am not, nor will I ever be 'ga ga' over anyone and I would appreciate it if you would refrain from calling my decisions into question. After we check the camp for his sister, we are going to head out to you. I will try to make it to your base in Sweden before the holidays but depending on where we drop off his sister, it may be after. That, and because the general of this base knows what I am doing and if he gets wind of my leaving, it could cause us to have to lay low before we can run.

Truly,

Phoenix

(I will call you Parker, then... Willie. )

So I got sick of thinking about how that... that... Tall blonde asshole decided to end our little conversation with kissing me, and I went and got a drink. Yes, I have the early shift in the morning(a few hours from now, actually) but I could care less right now. I gave one person permission to kiss me, Konstantin, and only him. Who Alric thinks he is planting a kiss on me, I don't know, but I could kill him.

I don't particularly like men for the most part, Konstantin and a few others are the exceptions to that rule, but Alric is most definatly NOT. His type is the kind I steer clear of; cold, calculating, stuck up, and kisses people without asking them first!

Yes, I am pretty lit. No, it will not last long. I have a date with the bath after my katas and that should sober me up. Alcohol doesn't really effect my fighting skills, just makes me slower... and giggly. But, I don't expect to get into a fight tonight. I'm throwing rocks at soldiers as they make their rounds, but they clearly see the large bottle of Vodka at my side and are too busy staring at the open buttons of my uniform. Pigs, all of them.

Well, I need to go start on my katas. I never really noticed how funny that word sounded in my head before... kaa-t-aa-ss. Kata! Kata-na! Ka... kami? Kana? Kate? Meh, slippery words. Kaa is a nice sound.

December 21, 1941

4 A.M. -Infirmery

I've decided that I need an alternate plan. Depending on how things go with Konstantin and I at the camps later today, I want an escape route for just in case. We should be going a short while after the chambers are closed, so I doubt that there will be problems. For myself, I wouldn't worry with a secondary plan of action because I can always get out. But, for my Konstantin... I want to keep him safe, even in the very dangerous postion we are putting ourselves in. I know it's odd for a woman to be the one protecting her man (or any man, not that's he's actually mine... though I would not be adverse to having him. ) but it's been a part of me since before I can remember. I'm a protector, that's just how I'm built, and Konstantin is under my protection as of the moment he smiled at me became worthy of my attention protection.

He's been registered, given the name of Commander Osrich Von Hasmen, and his military uniform exchanged for a German one (though I did wash his uniform and it is now in a package taped to the underside of his bed, just in case he has an attachment to it.).

All of the things that had been in his pockets (other than his gun, which I did molest after he had fallen asleep *blush*) have been rooted through (sorry, Kon-dear, job habit) and returned to his new uniform pockets.

Esscape plan, yes, emergency escape plan. It's bad that I lost my radio to Alric, I need to get in touch with *flips through papers* Parker in Hedeskoga Sweden to confirm that Kon and I have a place to go if things get messy. I doubt they will, but I need to make sure.

I wonder if I can get Alric to give back my radio? Hmm... I was really upset that he had taken it, along with my GUNS! Damnit, I loved my guns. He needs to give me the radio and my guns back. The letters are fine, he can have them. He'll never crack the code anyway.

But my radio... I need it to get in touch with Parker! It's an older model, but works so beatuifully...

That's what it looks like. Damn, I miss it. Alric had better not have had it taken apart! If he has... Suzaku save him.

Suzaku... hmm... I know that name. A hold over from the Chinese language and history class I took in training? Must be. Has to be.

Red. Suzaku. Hmm, damnit, I hate this! I'm going to get Kon his breakfast, maybe by the time I leave him to go talk to Alric, the strange tug in my chest over that damned red chicken will be gone.

It's three a.m. and I still haven't been to sleep. Okay, so that's not something unusual for me but the circumstances I found myself in tonight...

I met a man. Yes, strange as it seems for me to even mention a man with anything less than disgust, Konstantin has gained quite a measure of respect in my eyes. That's his name; Konstantin. he's adorable and only a little younger than me. He's twenty-eight to my thirty, premature gray hair(not like I give a damn, besides it look FANTASTIC on him ~_^ ), gray eyes, over six foot tall, slender if slightly under weight, and a complete gentleman. I had gone out to test the moron corps tonight, just to see if they were going to give me a good run, and I ran into him accidentally. He looked so cute and confused that I just had to have him stay with me just for a few minutes longer.

But we got to talking when I took him to a small coffee shop and we had dinner. His sister was in the upper levels in the ghetto's and has come up missing. I brought him back to base with me and set him up in the infirmery as a patient with measels and a dislocated knee. I know nothing about medicine, but I know measels are contagious and the other nurses would demand that i be the one to take him seeing as I admitted him. Anyway, I've gotten him some German clothes and the paperwork for both of us to go to the camp in the late afternoonto look for his sister. I know it's a bad idea to go in the late hours because we might have missed her, but I don't want him to see her being pushed into one of the chambers and blow our cover by starting a fight to get her back. There would be too many officers around and too much of a chance that he could be killed. If we don't find her when we go to camp tomorrow, I will look in the files at the camp office and see if I can find out if she was already sent in for 'purification' (the rotten bastards need purification, right up their asses!). If no files are found, then we can safely say she has escaped and go to her once we can determine where she is.

I know we are going to have to leave here soon, I can't stay much longer now that Alric knows who I am and I can't let Konstantin stay behind. I'm going to take him with me, as much as it will drain my pockets(my poor money... ;_; ) I can not leave him behind when I go to my contact in Sweden. Speaking of Parker, I need to send him another letter to find out if he's even gotten my other letters and see if he can actually read the code and isn't thinking that he just got lucky and some hot dame was sending him love letters out of the blue.

Guh, men. Thank the gods that my Konstantin isn't as dumb and perverted as most of his gender.


>- Letter ->

Oh, Billy!

Things have been so hard here since I was sent to this stupid base. I want to be back in your arms where I belong. You haven't found another woman, have you? I haven't gotten a letter back from you yet, and I was making sure that my letters have been getting through. Did the package of cookies from mother get to you? I hope you like them if they did, they're my secret recipie.

Oh! I may be able to get a little bit of leave time after Christmas to come and see you! I'm going to bring my friend with me. Konstantin is a very nice man and he has offered to be my protection while I traverse the dangerous distance between us. He's going to a base near yours, so he's going to escort me to you. Isn't that great?

Well, I suppose it's time for me to run off to bed. I've been put on the early shift and I'm very tired. Patients are very demanding.

All my love,

Milla

(Translation:)
Parker,

I always knew that I had no luck when it came to contacts. Perverts all of you. You did get that letter I sent you, right? Please, First Lieutenant Parker, tell me that you haven't been going gaga over a love letter. The agency should have sent you a code log so that you could translate the letters, unless they've become lazy asses as well.

I'll be coming to your area in the near future with a... friend. I get the feeling that things are in motion and that Konstantin's safety as well as mine are no longer assured. He's staying in the infirmery at the moment, but I can't let him stay there long.

Please, let me know if I need to alter my plans before coming to you for refuge.

Phoenix

December 17th, 1941

So, I'm wandering around my apartment building, trying to decide if I dare go into the hell hole that is surely my room is in. Alric had to have done a fantastic job of ransacking my room, there is little doubt that there is a severely pissed off nun waiting to kick my ass when I go back. 

Is it pitiful that I'm more afraid of the nun than the general?

Well, either way, I'm going to skip out on going back up to the room and just stay the day at the infermery and sneak back to the room after Magdelena is asleep.

I was reckless and bitchy and he knows that I'm a spy now. But, I'm not dead. My room was ransacked and all of my things taken, but I'm still alive and am welcome to stay and continue my pretending to be a nurse.

I have no idea what possessed me to be as reckless as I was, but it seemed to pay off. I usually have a cocky attitude when faced with an inquisition, but nothing like that. I all but dared him to kill me! Then, I had the nerve to ask if I could play with his whip! I even showed him that stupid mark on my forehead! Good gods, what is wrong with my head? It's like I've got split personalities or something! The Dupree that is a good operative and is cautious to the point of paranoia, and the Dupree that is flippiant and cocky and tries to get people to kill her. Ugh, well, no sence in bitching about it now.

Maybe that was why FDR wanted me to stay far away from General Waldemar; because he knew I'd end up showing off and end up putting myself in a very unstable situation. 

Well, now I've got to figure out how to deal with my roommate and see what Alric has for me. I doubt that I'm free to go, he has something planned. I can smell it.

As if I didn't have the worst luck in all of the world, I had to make the aquaintance of the General over the Warsaw Camps. Not only did I meet him, I ran into him, and made him suspicious of me! Ah, damnit FDR, did you have to send someone so woefully prone to sticking her foot in her mouth? As if my last position didn't tell you that I don't do too well when I'm confronted with people who trigger that deja vu thing, then when I'm a pile of ash raining down over the city of Warsaw maybe then you'll get the message.

Also, I happened to gather some information about my roommate. Interesting woman, Sister Magdelena is. Or should I call her by her title? Lady of the Evening Magdelena? It was quite a shock, I'll tell you, but it somehow fits. That woman gives me a tingle in the back of my neck worse than anyone -other than the general- has ever given me. That spells danger to me.

I can't wait to get more information on this woman, but I'm not all that certain that I'll be alive after punishment is meted out to me by General Alric Waldemer. How I managed to be dumb enough to run into him, I'll never know.

December 15, 1941 

Nurses boarding house - Warsaw, Poland

I'm finally done. Who would have thought that putting away two trunks worth of clothes and other necessities would take so long? 

My roommate wasn't here when I got here, so I made sure to take the smaller dresser and only a third of the closet space, though I don't expect a nun to have all that many things to put away. I mean, how many different outfits does a nun have? A few habits and a few uniforms for the infermary should do it, right?

Well, whatever. I'm going to take a walk around, get a feel for this place and see if I can find a small clearing, away from troops and prying eyes, to do my morning routine. I missed doing my katas for a week and my muscles are starting to stiffen from lack of use, but what else could I have done? The small sleeping area I had on the train was too tiny for a good workout, and all of the other cars had windows. Before the train even I had to stop my morning exercise due to the fact that I was being watched by German soldiers that were patroling the small boardinghouse I was staying in while waiting for my next assignment.

I really hated the last assignment I was on. I was nothing more than a plaything to Ivan, but he did make it worth my while. I was able to gather enough information and send it to the small British company my contact was in to stop a large number of Jewish refugees from being slaughtered by the Nazi detatchment that was hunting for them. Ivan, the moron, didn't even realize that his little kitten was listening to him spit out plans in his sleep. He never hesitated to talk to other Capitans and what not right in front of me, either. It was his own fault that he lost his command and was sent to the medical camps. It's sad that he's being experimented on, but it serves him right for the things he was planning to do to innocent men, women, and children and so I have no pity for him. Does that make me cold hearted? I don't think so, but then again, I never cared what anyone thought of me.

Well, my roommate should be arriving soon and if I want to get a look at this base before she gets here, then I really need to hurry off.